Shattered Soul in Solace

Tears. Tears of fear. Fear of losing. Fear of letting myself fail. I cried from my soul. I cried. I bang the floor with my fists with all my might. My mind echoes the same message: "WHY DID I LOSE!?" Everything I have trained for, my mind, body, soul, commitment. All for this moment. Only to lose to your opponent while it took them minimum effort to beat me. I punched the floor thrice. Blood. Blood from my mistakes. From me being confident. I lost it when she punched me. I thought I was invincible. I thought I was strong. I was wrong.

Alas, my mind, my ego, my goal of being the best there is disappeared. Nothing rang in my mind. Rage, hatred, bravery...nothing. I was in a state of nothingness. Yet, I smiled. Freedom. That word suddenly appeared within my thoughts. In that instant, I knew what it means. I was free from the delusions of my so called "invincibility" and my goal of becoming the "best there is."

There are no such things....they were never real to begin with.

As I smiled with tears running from my eyes, a hand open onto me. I grabbed it without hesitation and look at its owner. Her eyes, gray and shimmering from the sun, her brown hair shimmers with a lustrous shine. "You okay?" She asks with worry. "No." I answered honestly. "I just don't know anything any more." She pulls me up to my feet. I dust off the dirt off my clothes and look at my wounds. There are no words to equal to the amount of foolishness I have shoved into my head thinking I am the strongest around. There's more to fighting than fancy movement and punching one another. Something within me, something that I carried all my life gave way to this new mode of thinking.

"Can-" My mouth stuttered but I continued with my sentence."Can you teach me to fight?" She had a puzzling look on her face. I bowed down to her with my head to the ground, still twinkling with blood. "I want to learn how to truly fight." I want to know. I'm broken. I was such a broken man that tears erupted from my eyes once more. "I want to learn the real ways of fighting." There was silence from that moment. Nothing. And then..."If you want to fight for real," she says with a confident voice. "Learn again. This time from great masters." I then felt a hand pressed against my head and patting it.

"Because whoever taught you sucks." I chuckled and raised my head. She was smiling. "And don't forget to practice." She added.

After minutes of conversing with the young fighter we departed. I vow to fight her again but in that time, I will fight her where I will be a challenge.
I cannot be invincible but I'll put up a pretty good fight. And win!